BLOG — trying for joy

My mother's daughter

Whether I was able to talk about it or not, the reason why I am so scared of this disease is that I am very much like my mother. And I can’t bear the idea of dying the way she is dying. But I also can’t bear the idea of not being compared to her, seeing how alike our hands are or talking about how maybe my grey hair will come in like her grey hair did.

Patricia CruzNovember 1, 2021

Pass it down? No thanks. (genetic worries about Alzheimer's)

And all I could think was NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. I NEVER want them to have to sit by my as I am this type of sick. It wasn’t a passing thought or just a whispered fear that I journal about but can’t speak out loud. It was a promise.

Patricia CruzOctober 27, 2021

I need a pandemic recovery year.

Patricia CruzJuly 28, 2021

We are all angry. But probably at the wrong people.

As a community, we are collectively tired. And when you are tired and scared, it often comes out as anger. Because tired and scared are vulnerable emotions and we have to feel safe enough to express them.

Patricia CruzMay 14, 2021